I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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