So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
