so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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