I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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