So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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