You can't motorboat a personality
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
