this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She even gives head with a lisp.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
