is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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