Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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