Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
