im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All I want is dick and wine.
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