I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just cut my nipple shaving
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I seem to have left my pride at pride
where am i from again
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
