is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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