i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
