I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
