Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
