It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
