Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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