is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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