Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
