Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
