That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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