smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
