you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
