the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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