You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
