I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
