It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
