He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
