We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
