Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
