How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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