Screwed.edu
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
