Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize