I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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