you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
