dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
