fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
