Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
