whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize