I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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