I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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