i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
