1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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