I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
