I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
