Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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