I only kidnapped one of them. chill
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
