Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
