took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
