I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
