She announced her abortion via fbk
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
