what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize