Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
