the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
