Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
