DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
