My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
