just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
