Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize