I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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