Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
