I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
