I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
