Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize