I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
