If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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