i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
