What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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