question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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