it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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