yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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