I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
