the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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