the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
